Misc THE ODIOUS MAN

And so you can well understand , when I learned that in order to continue our journey we must spend several days aboard a steamer bound for Rangoon with that Odious man, well, I was bit upset to say the least. Not as upset as Miss Hoblin, however, who the Odious man had, on a previous leg of the journey had named “The Jacobean Spinster.” Why he should have chosen this name is a mystery. I will admit that being an unmarried woman in her late fifties perhaps does make her a spinster, but to call attention to this with such a name is cruel and uncalled for. And as for being a Jacobean, there has been no evidence to that effect.

Also on that previous part of our travels I had intercepted young Miss Bingham, in tears, heading toward her cabin. When I had asked what the matter was, she had told me that the odious man had approached her on the starboard deck in order to discuss the weather. But Young Miss Bingham had been so distracted by the size of the man’s nose that she doesn’t remember the conversation at all, only that she feared the odious man would ask for her hand in marriage and should she accept (an occurrence we both agreed was unlikely to the point of being an impossibility) , their offspring would be born with enormous noses of their own and remain social outcasts for the entirety of their lives, perhaps being forced to turn to crime. With this in mind young Miss Bingham was on the way to her cabin to cry for her large nosed, unborn, criminal children.

Have I mentioned that the odious man also has a habit of luring the gulls which follow our ship to him with bits of bread, and then spitting on the gulls when they come within range? He finds this a great game and even keeps a score card of sorts. He has attempted to entice almost everyone on the ship to join him in this “sport”, even the ladies. But he has of yet to find any takers.

I should also say, though to do so would be breaking a confidence, that Professor  Ponte believes that the odious man is following us with the intention to steal the clockwork weasel.